The Goodbye Retraction
by notjaneausten
Summary: Sheldon receives a cryptic e-mail from Amy when he is on his travels and once he reads it - let's just say that his inner Texan is finally revealed!
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon opened his laptop, eager for news from his friend that was a girl and recently turned 'girlfriend'. Instead of the chatty email daily newsletter that he'd come to expect, he instead found a brief message:

_'__Sheldon, I think the link below expresses things far more eloquently than I ever could, yours Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.'_

Sheldon was intrigued, perhaps Amy had found some specific point of interest for him to visit on his train journey through the great states. Indeed, she had proved most supportive of his decision to take a few months sabbatical from Caltech, despite her initial outburst and had since provided many such emails with links to places to visit that would stimulate his mind and soothe his ever present need to expand his knowledge. However when he clicked on the link and found that it linked to a music video site; he groaned aloud. Looking around to see whether he was being closely observed, Sheldon angled the laptop closer to the window and popped his headphones on, before hovering over the 'play' button.

"Amy, you little she-devil; what romantic torment are you trying to put me through here?" Sheldon tutted under his breath; having an amorous girlfriend that was always trying to lead him down the path of temptation was playing havoc with his carefully structured lifestyle and he had taken this trip partly to get away from all of that once he realised that the Vulcan act of Kolinar was clearly not helping to calm his suddenly awakened libido. Kissing Amy on their once a week 'Date Night's had become a pleasure rather than a chore and he was beginning to realise that Amy no longer had to lead him down that wicked path any longer; he was finally starting to walk that path all by himself! Sheldon took another quick peek around the train cart before pulling the laptop closer and finally clicking the button to start the video…

"Aw gosh, you little vixen; trying to tempt this Texan with a little country music are you? Well, you know that I'm immune to all of that tomfoolery…" Sheldon muttered as he recognised the duo of Brooks and Dunn filling the screen (well you could take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy). He turned his attention away from the duo singing and looked out of the window at the scenery rolling by; suddenly he jerked back in his seat and ripped the headphones from his head, fingers scrambling on the keyboard to rewind the video.

"No…no…no…" He muttered repeatedly as the figures walked backwards off the stage in fast motion, he clicked play again and placed the headphones back over his ears to listen again…

'I know they say if you love somebody  
You should set them free  
But it sure is hard to do  
It sure is hard to do  
I know they say if you don't come back again  
Then it's meant to be (so they say)  
Those words don't pull me through  
Cause I'm still in love with you  
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle  
But it's just you and me goin' through the mill  
climbin' up a hill

This is the long goodbye  
Somebody tell me why  
Two lovers in love can't make it  
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart  
No matter how hard I try  
I always make you cry  
Come on, baby, it's over?-let's face it  
All that's happening here is a long goodbye'

White faced and trembling, Sheldon paused the video link and sat back against his seat shaking. Surely she didn't mean it? What if she did? He scrolled back to his email hoping to see another from Amy but nothing, he pulled out his phone and dialled the only person he could think of.

"Penny?"

"Sheldon, sweetie! How are you? Where are you? Leonard – it's Sheldon on the phone!" Sheldon could hear Leonard moving around the apartment.

"Penny!" Sheldon interrupted her excited squeals and continued; something in his tone told her that he was worried about something.

"I'm here, Sheldon. What's the matter?"

"I'm forwarding an email to Leonard's laptop; could you please click on the link and call me straight back?" Sheldon sent the link and cut off the call. Sure enough within a few seconds his phone blared out the theme music to the latest Avengers movie and he picked it up.

"Leonard?"

"Yeah, Shel?" From the sadness in his friends tone, Sheldon knew that his assumptions were correct. Amy Farrah Fowler had just broken up with him via a music video – in direct contravention of the Relationship Agreement!

"Pick me up at the airport, I'm taking the next flight back." Sheldon didn't give two hoots about the Relationship Agreement any longer; if his girlfriend thought that a Texan man gave up without a fight – she was about to be proved very wrong!

"Sheldon, you don't like to fly!"

"Just pick me up at the Airport, I'll text you the details once I've booked my ticket. " Sheldon ignored Leonard's remark about his fear of flying and disconnected the call. He quickly went online and checked where the nearest airport was to the next stop on the line. Booking his ticket he closed his laptop and sat back in his seat; a faint smirk spreading across his face. "Well, little Missy; you better be prepared 'cause Shelly's finally got his man pants on today!" He quickly sent a text to Leonard giving him the flight information and then another to Penny informing her that she needed to keep Amy occupied and out of her apartment the next evening. He would let Amy think that she'd gotten the better of him for today; but tomorrow – watch out Amy Farrah Fowler, cause Doc Cooper's back in town!


	2. Chapter 2

"Leonard, Penny," Sheldon nodded at the couple as they met him at the arrivals lounge. He had his ever present messenger bag thrown over his shoulder but there was no other sign of any other luggage.

"Sheldon, where are your bags?" Leonard asked curiously, as Sheldon walked straight past the luggage carousel and out of the airport. Sheldon waved off the question as if it were of no importance, and waited for Leonard to direct him to the where the car was parked.

"Somewhere in Nevada, I guess. I hopped off the train at the next stop – it's all correctly labelled up so I'm sure they will find their way back to me eventually." Sheldon climbed into the backseat and pulled his laptop out of his bag and started up his search engine. Penny looked at Leonard with raised eyebrows – Sheldon always called 'shotgun' whenever he was riding in the car; Leonard just pushed his glasses further up his nose and shrugged his shoulders. Driving back to their apartment, Leonard kept glancing up in the rear view mirror; he could see Sheldon concentrating on something on the screen and could see his lips moving as he mumbled to himself, but apart from that Sheldon made no other remarks.

"Everything okay back there, sweetie?" Penny twisted in her seat to look over at Sheldon; something that he would have vehemently objected to in the past, spouting off statistics regarding road traffic accidents over the last ten years and how they could have all been avoided if everyone remained seated and correctly strapped in. Sheldon didn't even look up from his screen and Penny shifted back in her seat with a small sigh. Leonard looked over at his girlfriend, and removed one hand from the steering wheel to gently rub her knee. She pressed her hand over his in silent thanks and they soon arrived at the apartment building. It was only then that Sheldon closed his laptop and looked over at their concerned faces.

"Penny, were you able to contact Amy with my specific parameters for tomorrow evening?"

"Yeah, she's coming over for a girly night with Bernie…they're getting to mine around seven."

"Good, that gives me plenty of time to prepare. Please, do not let her drink too many alcoholic beverages and she will need to be home around nine; no later as I will require a ride home around ten thirty." Sheldon extracted himself from the car and started walking away from the apartment.

"Hey Sheldon! We live here, remember?" Leonard shouted out, waving toward their building.

"Leonard, I have far too much to do. My clothes are in Nevada so I will need to purchase a new set of Thursday and Friday pyjamas…and other assorted items. I will be home in a few hours, seeing that it is Thursday I assume that our pizza will be in place by the time I arrive home." Sheldon stopped walking and looked at his watch, muttering as he noticed that this unnecessary chatter had already cost him more time than he had allotted for this particular phase. He waved a hand at Leonard and started walking again, calculating his route in his head so that he could get back on schedule.

"First the pyjamas…then maybe the clothing store over on the strip? Mmm, maybe I had better call Koothrappali." Sheldon knew what he needed but wasn't exactly sure where to purchase them from; Rajesh had come through for many such fashion emergencies with the ladies and Sheldon was hoping that he'd be able to do the same for him.

"Rajesh? It's Sheldon here, no I'm back in Pasadena and I'm in a bit of a bind…" Sheldon explained his requirements to Raj on the 'phone and held it away from his ear at the excited squeals emitting from the formerly quiet scientist from New Delhi.

"Oh my gosh, this is sooo exciting. My very own Sheldon makeover! Stay right where you are, I'm coming right over…I know exactly where we can get what you need; don't worry about a thing, my little black Am-Ex will take care of everything!" Raj was still squealing as he disconnected and Sheldon found an empty bench to sit and wait. He knew that Raj would come through; he was their very own personal shopper and if it weren't for the fact that he had sniffed around every potential girlfriend in their group, Sheldon might have thought that he batted for the other team entirely. While he waited, Sheldon dialled up someone else that he thought would be able to steer him in the right direction.

"Meemaw, it's Shelly…no I'm back home now. I know I said I was going to be away longer but something's come up that required my immediate attention. Amy? Yes, well that's what I've come home for. Do you realise that she tried to break up with me using a country song? What song? Meemaw that really isn't important right now." Sheldon sighed as his Meemaw badgered him for more details, "What do you mean – what did **I **do? Nothing and that's precisely the point, I've done nothing to uphold my end of our Relationship Agreement and tomorrow that is going to change. Now let me ask you a few things about…" Sheldon asked his favourite person to refresh his memory on a few things from his childhood, "Okay, yes I think I've got it now. Yeah, love you too, Meemaw." Sheldon disconnected the call and made a few further notes on his memo before looking up to see Raj waving from his sports car.

"Yoohoo! Let's go and make those cash registers ring, baby!" Sheldon sighed at the display of Raj leaning out of his open window and flashing his credit card. He walked over and folded his long legs into the impossibly small passenger seat.

"Meemaw's added a few things to the list, so we need to head to…"

"I've got it all worked out already, Sheldon. You just sit back and enjoy the ride!" Raj accelerated out of the parking spot after taking a quick look at Sheldon's memo and smiling a little at what was typed out. "We're going over to the Galleria and then if we can't find it there…"  
"The Galleria will be fine, Rajesh. Please keep to the optimum speed limit, if you don't mind. I have plans for tomorrow evening that do not include spending a fortnight in traction!" Sheldon reached behind him to pull the seatbelt over and snapped it in place, Raj merely chuckled as he depressed the accelerator a little harder and the car zoomed along the highway; before he settled back down to the posted limit.

-Sheldon was exhausted by the time they arrived back at the apartment; he rapped on the door of 4a as he'd left his keys behind when he took off on his adventure, not wanting to lose them on his journey. Leonard opened the door, and stepped back in surprise when he saw it was Sheldon standing on the other side. A single knock was not the Sheldon they had all come to know and if not love, then understand. His usual method was three raps followed by the name. Leonard looked at the piles of bags at Sheldon's feet and then up at his extremely tired looking friend.

"Here, let me help you with those." Leonard bent down to gather a few of the bags in his arms and stood back to let Sheldon enter the apartment. He noticed that Sheldon had taped most of the tops of the bags shut as to not disclose their contents.

"Thank you, Leonard. Rajesh is on his way up with more, if you could just place them inside my room; I would be most appreciative." Sheldon murmured quietly as he headed down the hallway. "I will take a brief shower now, and then I will be heading straight for bed. That man has more stamina than any green horse I've ever seen; and coming from Texas that's quite an accomplishment. Good evening, everyone." Sheldon nodded his head to Penny, Howard and Bernadette who were just sitting down to eat; they all looked up in amazement at Sheldon's quiet words of thanks to Leonard and his complete change of manners.

"Tell you more, later." Penny mouthed to Bernadette as she waited for the shower to switch on and for the door to Sheldon's room close firmly behind him.

"C'mon, Penny! Tell us!" Bernadette demanded in her best Mrs. Wolowitz voice; quite a change from her usual quiet, breathy tone.

"Amy broke up with Sheldon…via e-mail." Penny stated and watched as even Howard's jaw fell open with shock.

"E-mail? That's harsh, a Dear John via the web…." Howard fell back against his chair and shook his head, he'd had plenty of break up letters in the past – but they were usually in the form of a post it note stuck to his school locker or a crumpled piece of paper shoved under his office door.

"That's not the worst of it though…" Penny leant forward from the sofa, all pretence of eating their take-out abandoned. "She did it with a music video!"

"When was this?"

"What video?" Bernadette and Howard spoke at the same time and Penny checked the hallway to see whether Sheldon or Leonard had emerged from the back hall.

"Sheldon was on a train somewhere near Nevada; he got the e-mail and was straight on the phone to Leonard asking to be picked up from the airport- this afternoon!"

"Sheldon came back straight away? He actually got on a plane?" Bernadette squeaked and then clamped a hand over her mouth when she realised how loud she had become. There was a tap on the door and Howard crossed over to open it, Raj was standing there with countless bags at his feet – wearing a brand new black Stetson on his head and tapping his toes against the floor impatiently.

"Well, are you going to let me in or stand there all night admiring the hotness of my new look – 'Indian Jones'."

"I thought you were only kidding about that when you mentioned it at Halloween." Howard grabbed a couple of the shopping bags and Raj walked into the apartment with the rest. He tipped his hat back with a forefinger as he tried to look cool and suave at the giggling faces of Penny and Bernadette.

"Raj? What are you wearing?" Penny collapsed in giggles, causing Sheldon to appear from the bathroom with a new set of Tuesday pyjama's on. He muttered under his breath and strode down the hallway to snatch the hat off Raj's head.

"I thought I told you to keep it in the box! Stetson's are moulded to fit the individual and you may just have ruined it forever! Good job I kept my old one just in case, although that is brown and I do so love this new black one…"

"But there were too many to carry, and I just wanted to try it out for the ladies!" Raj protested, "Tell him that I looked good, please?" Raj pleaded with Penny who was sprawled against the back cushions, tears of laughter rolling down her face. She waved a hand at Raj and tried to control herself. Bernadette looked over at Sheldon who was rubbing his sleeve across the brim of the hat to try and remove any traces of Raj's hair gel.

"Sheldon? Are you okay? I mean, with the whole breaking up with Amy thing?" She asked timidly, because to her, Sheldon looked pretty well adjusted to someone who had just split up with his very first girlfriend. Sheldon looked over at the group and placing his new Stetson firmly on his head, he gave them all a smirk.

"I'm a Texan through and through, and y'all should know we never back down that easily." He cocked his finger like a pistol and blew imaginary smoke from his fingertip. "Yup, my lil' gal's goin' down and she don't even know it yet…" Sheldon tipped his hat in the direction of Penny and Bernadette and swaggered back down the hallway. The ladies looked at each other and suddenly Bernadette rose from her chair to stand next to her husband with a gleam in her eye.

"Howie, home!" Howard was no fool and recognised that he was in for a treat when he got home; a quick whispered conversation with Raj at the door whilst Bernadette was saying goodnight to Penny had him smiling as his wife joined him.

"Bernie, how about a quick trip to the Galleria on the way home? Raj told me where we can pick up another hat just like…" Howard didn't even get to finish his sentence before Bernadette was dragging him out of the door and down the staircase. Raj placed the rest of the bags inside the door and flopped down next to Penny on the couch.

"That man is exhausting! I knew he was a perfectionist with OCD tendencies but I never thought I would ever say this, Penny….but I hated shopping today!" Raj leant his head against Penny's shoulder and she patted his hair consolingly. "He knew exactly what he wanted to buy, he just used me for a ride…"

"And maybe because he didn't know where to buy what he needed? Come on Raj, you really think that Leonard would have known where to buy a Stetson from? One that didn't come with a Lone Ranger outfit attached to it." Penny added when Raj opened his mouth to defend Leonard, his mouth closed and he nodded.

"I still would have steered him into a more fashionable direction….he could have gone Calvin Klein for goodness sakes! But, no…not Sheldon Cooper!" Raj threw up his hands in disgust and looked at the assortment of bags on the floor.

"What else did he buy, Raj?" Penny bent over to have a rummage through the assorted bags and Raj leant over to whisper something in her ear.

"Oh! Really…? Oh my gosh!" Penny sat back against the cushions and blinked back tears, "Although what he plans to do with a lariat in Pasadena…" Penny grinned when she realised exactly what a man hailing from Galveston could do with a lariat… "Oh boy, Amy's in for the surprise of her life!"

"Girl's night?"

"Girl's night." Penny confirmed with a nod, she slung her arm around Raj's shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "Since you had such a hard time with Sheldon this afternoon, I think you deserve a little treat too. My place, seven o'clock tomorrow."

"Oh goodie, a night with the girls! It's just what I need to recharge my batteries." Raj rubbed his hands together with delight and then bounced off the couch. "I need to get home and make sure that I get my full night's rest; maybe a kelp mask to rehydrate…" He rubbed a hand across his cheek and looked over at Penny. "See you tomorrow, ooh it's going to be soo good!"

"Yeah, later Raj. Seven o'clock – the others aren't coming until a little later so we can have a little time for ourselves first. Sex and the City marathon or Next Model?" At the look of indecision on his face, Penny threw her hands in the air and said. "Let's go mad and have both!"

"You're the best, Penny!" Raj blew her a kiss and whirled out of the door his mind full of sexy supermodels and Carrie Bradshaw. Penny looked at the rest of the bags and hefted a load up into her arms to take into Sheldon.

"Sheldon, sweetie? I have some more of your things, want me to leave them out in the hall?"

"You can come in, Penny." Sheldon's voice sounded surprisingly upbeat and Penny nudged the door open with her foot; she saw Sheldon trying on one of his new outfits and her mouth ran dry. "So, Penny – black or the traditional blue?"

"Um..uh…Leonard!" Penny stood like a statue in the doorway and called frantically for her boyfriend. This new Sheldon was making her feel all tingly and she needed Leonard there to ground her.

"What? I was taking a shower…Holy crap, Batman!" Leonard came rushing out of the bathroom in just his robe, rubbing a towel over his wet hair. He reached for Penny's hand and found her pulse racing… "Penny, back away slowly…that's it you can do it… Sheldon, you should know better than to dress like that in front of a girl from Nebraska! She's practically salivating over here! Penny, go and wait in my room. PENNY!" Leonard forced her to turn away and into his own room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

"I was just asking her opinion on whether I should go with black or the traditional blue…I certainly didn't mean to set her ovaries buzzing, that was not my intention in the slightest, I assure you." Sheldon tilted his head in the mirror studying his reflection, with his head cocked slightly to one side. "Hmm…I don't know."

"What shirt? I mean Flash would be okay with the black, but Green Lantern would clash with the blue…" Leonard pushed his glasses up his nose and started rifling through Sheldon's precisely folded Superhero shirts neatly stacked on the shelf.

"I don't think so, Dr. Hofstadter!" Sheldon elbowed Leonard out of the way and showed him an item pulled from one of the bags. "I shall be wearing this one, so I think with my new hat….yes, black is the way to go. Thank you, Leonard."

"Um… you're welcome?" Leonard responded, unsure what Sheldon was thanking him for exactly. Sheldon pointedly looked at the door and then over at his friend.

"Don't you have a girlfriend waiting in your room for you?"

"Oh, yeah Penny…" Leonard turned around and stopped as Sheldon tapped him on the shoulder.

"Here, I picked up an extra one for you too… It may prove to be a little large, but we can always pad out the brim." Sheldon placed a box in Leonard's hands. "Tell Penny she can thank me later." Sheldon politely shoved Leonard out of the room and waited at the door for Penny's response to his little gift.

"Yee-haw!" Came her excited response, and all of the sudden Sheldon's door was flung open and Penny dashed in to enfold him in a brief hug and delivered a squishy kiss to his cheek. She ran back out of the room and into Leonard's, where for the next few hours, Sheldon wished he had re-thought the idea of his gift…and had that he hadn't left his noise reducing headphones in his luggage on the train.


	3. Chapter 3

Sheldon paced around the apartment waiting for the sound of those familiar clunky footsteps that would herald the arrival of Amy over at Penny's. He'd already heard Raj arrive earlier and would probably estimate that he and Penny were on their second, if not third bottle of wine already. Bernadette and Howard had arrived about fifteen minutes ago, Howard was currently conversing quietly with Leonard on the other side of the apartment after physically having to force Bernadette to go over to Penny's after she had seen Sheldon in his full outfit.

"I could stay and play Halo with the guys for once…" She suggested and was immediately turned down. "Howard Wolowitz! You never let me have any fun!" She stomped her tiny foot and crossed over to the door, casting her dreamy gaze over Sheldon once more before going over to rap on Penny's door.

"That's not what she was saying last night, believe me." Howard shared a brief knowing glance with Leonard who smirked back in his direction.

"Yeah, Penny got a real kick out of it too…Especially when I let her wear the hat a little later." Leonard smiled in fond remembrance and received a kick on the shin from Howard.

"How come I had to drive all the way over to the Galleria and you didn't?"

"Aw, Sheldon bought me one back as a present…guess that's because we're besties." Howard beamed over at Sheldon who waved a hand impatiently at the two of them

"Quit your yapping and let me listen…" Sheldon pressed his ear to the door and when he heard a familiar pattern of footsteps, peered through the peephole. "There's my gal…hold your horses, Shelly…" Sheldon waited until Penny's door closed behind Amy and turned to face his two friends with a glint in his eye. "So gentlemen, who wishes to be my designated driver this fine evening? I have a few things to gather from my room, so I will leave you to decide. Might I just add that there may be one or two things left over from my spree with Raj that I may not use this evening, so my driver will of course get first pick out of the goodie bags…" Sheldon walked down the corridor toward his room; Howard turned to Leonard.

"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?"

"Shove that, Howard. Sheldon's my bestie so of course, I will be driving him this evening." Leonard stated, already rising from his armchair to check that his wallet and keys were in his jacket pocket.

"That's not fair! You already got the hat – why do you always have to have all the fun?" Howard complained as he faced Leonard, holding his hands against his hips.

"I'll remember that next time he wants to visit the emergency room at five am because he thinks he's swallowed his floss." Leonard remarked drily, as he heard Sheldon walk back into the room. "Holy Crap, Batman! That's what you're wearing to Amy's?" Leonard's mouth gaped open as he got the first full view of Sheldon's full outfit.

"I gotta get a picture for Bernadette, she'll withdraw sex forever if I don't." Howard scrambled in his pocket for his phone and snapped a few pictures of Sheldon in the complete outfit.

"So, who's it gonna be gentlemen?" Sheldon's twang had become more pronounced after his e-mail from Amy, a sure sign that his emotional state was heightened; he'd managed to culture his tone since leaving Texas at the early age of fourteen but whenever his emotions got the better of him, it somehow came creeping back out.

"I am your best friend, Sheldon…"

"But I had to buy my own hat…"

"Dang it boys! Grab a bag and you can both be part of my posse! Now get your butts in gear and let's roll! We only have an hour or so to pull this off in!" Sheldon placed his hat firmly on his head and with his spurs jangling on his highly polished boots, he left the apartment waiting for Leonard and Howard to catch up with him in the hallway.

"Yeah Bernie… I got the photo….have to go, we're part of his posse now, yeah love you, too honey…" Howard quickly whispered into his phone and disconnected when he caught sight of Sheldon's irate face.

"You'd better not have sent those pictures over to that apartment, I don't want Amy catchin' wind of my plan too early."

"No, no Sheldon. We're fine, let's go." Howard sent a quick look over to Leonard who was already halfway down the stairs; Leonard gave him a quick thumbs up to let him know that he'd already sent them over to Penny and soon loud moans could be heard from 4b; making Howard move quickly to the staircase.

"Come on, Sheldon. Time's a wasting…"

"Don't forget that bag, Howard." Sheldon nodded to the last bag sitting just outside the apartment door, Howard nodded and picked it up before heading off down the stairwell. Sheldon was the last to leave, and just caught sight of Penny's door opening slightly with Penny and Bernadette sneaking a peek around the edge.

"Evening, ladies." Sheldon tipped his hat in their direction before following Howard down the stairwell. Penny's door slammed closed with both ladies breathing heavily and waving their hands in front of their face to cool off.

"In the words of Amy, 'hoo!'". Penny giggled and looked over at Bernadette's glazed features. "Did you get a hat from the Galleria last night?"

"Hoo!" Bernadette waved her hand frantically in front of her face to try and cool down.

"Did Howard let you wear it? Leonard let me wear it on our third, or was it fourth round."

"You bought one too?" Bernadette asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Nah, Sheldon gave one to Leonard last night….honestly if I ever thought that man would look half that good in a pair of denims…well – hoo!" Penny leant back against her closed door, they were talking freely due to the fact that Amy had left the living room to use the bathroom which was clear over the other side of the apartment.

"I know exactly what you mean!" Bernadette giggled and headed over on slightly unsteady feet to refill her wine glass. "Here's to denims…."

"And what they can do to a man's butt…and a woman's libido!"

"What are we drinking to, besties?" Amy returned from the bathroom to find her friends clinking wine glasses and only caught the part about a woman's libido. She grabbed the bottle and topped off her glass.

"How clear a man's buttocks are defined in a pair of slim lined, black denim jeans of the Wrangler design?" Raj filled Amy in as she went to take a sip of her wine. She nearly choked at the vision that came to mind…

"Hoo!" She sputtered and set the wine glass down very carefully on the table, "I think that's enough to drink for one evening, I really should be getting going…"

"No! I mean, stay." Penny shouted and then softened her tone when she realised that she'd very nearly let the cat out of the bag. "I'll get you a soft drink and you can fill us in on your thoughts about men in designer jeans."

"Hoo!" Amy clapped her hand over her mouth at her involuntary response. All that came to her mind was how Sheldon's slim line frame would fit in a pair of Wrangler's; the way they would mould to his shape and outline… "Hoo!"

"Yup, that's something in Sheldon's favour anyway… Amy's just like the rest of us poor women, googly eye over a cowboy." Bernadette muttered to Penny as they discreetly checked their watches – Sheldon had specifically stated that Amy was not to be near her apartment until nine o'clock and it was only just eight fifteen. It was only twenty minutes across town and there was very little traffic, but they couldn't let her leave for at least another twenty minutes.

"So, Ames…how goes it with Sheldon? Heard anything lately?" Raj leant back against the sofa and waved a hand to Penny. "Don't worry, Penny, I've got this…"

"Worryingly no…I did send him an e-mail yesterday but I have yet to hear back from him. As soon as I get back to my apartment I will check my inbox; it really is unlike Sheldon not to respond. Sometimes we Skype each other before we retire and…" Amy's voice trailed off as her cheeks flushed. She rose to her feet and brushed her skirt flat. "Well, I'm sure you don't want to hear about the not so intimate details of our relationship…"

"Tell us, please." Bernadette got the feeling that something wasn't quite making sense; after all Sheldon never did tell them what the video message was really about. She screwed up her face at Penny who shrugged as she looked back, neither woman entirely sure what was going on.

"Well, Sheldon said that he liked to fall asleep after talking to me; so we sometimes Skype last thing and I make sure that I leave mine on until he falls asleep. Ever since we amended our Relationship Agreement we talk every night; either by telephone or Skype."

"So that's why he's been disappearing into his room early! Leonard thought that we'd done something to upset him." Penny tapped a finger thoughtfully against her chin. "So what exactly was in that last e-mail that you sent him?"

"It's rather personal…but as we're all besties, I'll show you." Excitedly Amy pulled over Penny's computer and linked into the music app. As the lyrics began to fill the air, Penny and Bernadette exchanged worried glances before Penny pulled Bernadette over to one side.

"That is **not** the video that she sent through to Sheldon. The one he got was 'The Long Goodbye'." Penny hissed, and Bernadette squeaked in alarm.

"What do we do?"

"Call Howard and tell him not to let Sheldon go ahead with whatever crazy plan he's cooked up. She wasn't breaking up with him, she was trying to tell him how much she missed him!"

Penny and Bernadette turned around to see Raj appearing from the bathroom and the living room decidedly empty.

"Where's Amy?" All three chanted in unison, and ran out of the apartment trying to head off another certain calamity.


	4. Chapter 4

Meanwhile over in Glendale, Howard and Leonard watched on as Sheldon pulled out Amy's spare key from his wallet and used it to open her apartment door. The fact that he even had a key to his girlfriend's apartment was enough to give Leonard reason to take back every last taunt that the group had made over their 'supposed' relationship.

"Gentlemen, I thank you for your assistance. Please let the bags just inside the door and I will expect one of you to return to collect me at precisely ten-thirty." Sheldon watched as Howard and Leonard placed the bags where he had instructed before he very firmly closed the door in their faces.

"Wonder what's in the bags?" Mused Howard as they took the stairs back down to the street, where Leonard's car was parked.

"Don't know about yours, but mine was full of rope…" Leonard gave Howard a pat on the back as they climbed back into the car. "Never mind, Howie. Maybe there was something better in your bag." Leonard started the car and they headed back across to Pasadena.

Sheldon was busy setting the scene for when Amy returned; rearranging her living room furniture so that a single dining room chair was placed just out of sight of the doorway but angled so that he could see when she arrived home. He'd set her lights on remote control so that when she reached out to flick the switch for the overhead light, none would come on except for a single spotlight aimed directly at the doorway. He had switched his phone off as soon as he'd left the apartment, otherwise he would have seen various texts and missed calls from both Penny and Bernadette who were now on their way over to Glendale.

"Hey, wasn't that Amy's car that we just saw?" Howard craned his neck to see whether he could make out the license plate, Leonard looked at his watch before dismissing the idea.

"It's only just gone half eight, Penny wasn't supposed to let her leave until nearer nine."

"Speaking of Penny….isn't that her totally ignoring that stop sign?"

"WHAT?" Leonard slammed on the brakes and after checking the traffic made a u-turn, flashing his lights to get her attention. They both pulled over at the side of the road and he raced over to check what went wrong.

"Leonard, she sent the wrong link! She's not breaking up with him at all!" Penny rushed over and gabbled what they'd just discovered.

"Oh my god!" That was all Leonard could think of to say, "He's got rope in there and everything…."

"That's a lariat, sweetie. He was gonna lasso her so that she had to hear what he's got to say…Raj let slip some of the other things that he purchased as well…"

"Oh my god…" Leonard swallowed hard, "Penny, she just passed us on the street. Didn't any of you think to call ahead?"

"He's got his phone switched off…and you know he would never answer someone else's landline…"

"You could've just left a message on her machine, he would've heard it that way." Leonard suggested, and patted Penny on the shoulder when she realised that maybe she could have tried harder to stop whatever else it was Sheldon had planned. "Come on, let's go back to Amy's…things might be getting a little heated in there."

Amy fumbled with getting her key into her lock, she'd only had the one glass of wine at Penny's before deciding to come home to check her e-mails once again for any word from Sheldon. She reached over to flick on the light switch only to find a single bulb coming on in the middle of the kitchen, causing her to wince as the glare bounced off her glasses.

"Evenin' Amy," A low drawl coming from the direction of the living room had her sucking in a large gulp of air as she fought to control her feminine urges.

"She…Sheldon?" She finally asked, her voice getting stuck in the back of her throat. She held a hand over her glasses to try and reduce the glare, but could only make out a shadowy figure slowly rising from a chair just out of sight, there was a low swishing noise and suddenly she gasped as a rope flew out of the air to wrap around her waist. "Hoo!" She hooted involuntarily, as she felt herself being slowly pulled forward by the shadowy figure wrapping the rope around his wrist and forearm in a loop.

"We're needin' to have ourselves a little conversation, little lady." As Amy was pulled nearer she could make out the lanky frame of her boyfriend but boy did he look different! Sheldon was wearing dark Wranglers with a brilliant white shirt, he had a string tie around his neck and on top of his head was a black Stetson. She stole a glance at the way his Wranglers hugged his buttocks and bit back another hoot of appreciation. Sheldon moved closer and nudged her gently into his abandoned chair, working quickly he tied her feet to the legs of the chair before making a few loops around her waist for good measure. As he knelt before her, Amy looked down at the way the denim stretched across his thighs and moulded themselves around his clearly defined manhood.

"Hooo!" Amy cooed under her breath and Sheldon hid a smirk under the brim of his hat; with his superb hearing he'd heard every involuntary response that Amy had uttered since entering the apartment and it only proved to him that she wasn't as immune to him as she'd led him to believe.

"Now, how about you explain to me the meanin' of that little note that you pinged to me yesterday morning?" Sheldon aimed the remote control at Amy's stereo and the sounds of "The Long Goodbye" filled the room. Sheldon paused the music and leant closer, "Ringin' any bells yet?"

"Ooh, you got my e-mail!" Amy said excitedly before she realised that she didn't actually recognise the song that Sheldon had playing on th stereo. "No…that's not what I sent…" Amy stared into his intent gaze, their familiar blue darkened by the brim of his hat.

"No…What do you mean 'no'? Is this or is this not the song that you e-mailed me whilst I was on a train journeying through Nevada, informing me that you wished to formally break up with me? A rather harsh way of informing me of your intentions, I might add."

"No, that's not the song I sent to you." Amy's quiet voice had Sheldon rocking back on his heels.

"I beg to differ, little lady. I have a print out of the e-mail and took the liberty of making a few notes of the lyrics:

_Come on baby it's over let's face it, all that's happening here is a long goodbye…_" Sheldon waved the e-mail print out in front of him and started pacing the room. "I won't have it, do you hear me, Amy? That is not how we Texan's say goodbye!" He knelt down in front of her again and grasped her forcefully by the arms to tilt her face up to his level. "This is how we say goodbye." Sheldon slowly bent his head to press his lips lightly against hers, rubbing slightly against her open mouth and getting the faint tang of white wine from her breath. When she gasped at the contact, he slipped the tip of his tongue inside to lightly graze her own tongue; learning the different textures of her mouth and tasting the flavour that was uniquely hers…

"Hoo!" Amy whispered as Sheldon finally released her mouth, only to lay a trail of kisses across her cheek and down to side of her neck where he gently sucked at the side of her neck before blowing gently over the wet moisture left behind.

"Still want to say goodbye?" Sheldon whispered gently as he continued to press soft, moist kisses up and down her neck, gently nudging the shoulder strap aside so that he could access more of her softly scented skin. "Or maybe you want to have a Texan 'hello' first?" Without giving her another chance to utter another word, Sheldon swooped down to capture her lips in a take no prisoners kiss. His tongue delved straight in to tangle with hers and his hands were tangled in her fine hair, holding her captive to his marauding tongue. One of Amy's free hands came up to tilt the brim of his hat back, whilst the other slid down to slide into the back pocket of his jeans, cupping his firm buttocks and gently massaging.

"Mmm…No!" Sheldon tore his mouth away and pulled away from the tantalising female tormentor that was Amy Farrah Fowler. "Lord woman, you've got me so tangled up I don't know which way is up and which is down. I knew this would happen which is why I kept my distance yesterday…"

"You've been back since yesterday, and you didn't think to call?" Amy was hurt but trying desperately not to show it, Sheldon could hear it in her voice and knelt in front of her again, untying the ropes binding her to the chair.

"I got your e-mail and I flew straight home; I've been settin' this whole thing up since yesterday morning and now I don't know what to think! You didn't send me a song link, telling me that you wanted to break up with me?" Sheldon sat back on his heels and took his hat off to run his fingers through his hair.

"No! Why would you even think that?" Amy knelt in front of Sheldon and took the hat out of his hands to place it gently back on his head.

"Perhaps because the song's called 'The Long Goodbye'?" Sheldon offered a gentle hint and Amy gave a slight smile before taking back the remote control.

"This is what I thought I'd sent you…" Amy found the track on the CD that she'd been listening to in her car and thought that it expressed her feelings perfectly.

_I keep thinkin' any minute you'll be comin' home honey  
I ain't seen nothin' of you in a month of Sundays  
Tell me, how long gone are you gonna be?_

_All you said was you had to get goin'  
Oh, but baby I wouldn't mind knowin' just  
How long gone are you gonna be?_

_How am I supposed to make any plans?  
When I still don't even understand  
If you're ever gonna come back home to me  
Tell me please, how long gone are you gonna be?_

"Guess I won't be needing to play you this then…" Sheldon rose to his feet and held out a hand for Amy to join him. He aimed the remote at the stereo and selected the disc that he'd placed in there just a short while ago.

_Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.  
I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart.  
From here on after let's stay the way we are right now,  
And share all the love and laughter that a lifetime will allow._

_I cross my heart and promise to  
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.  
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine._

"Oh, Sheldon…that's lovely, just perfect." Amy lay her head against Sheldon's chest as they swayed gently to the music playing softly in the background. She leant her head back to meet his soft gaze. "So remind me again, how did that Texan 'hello' go again?" Sheldon growled softly before bending her back over his arm to remind her exactly how a true Texan greeted his lady after a long period away. Their hands had just started to stray into definite 'second base' territory when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Ignore it, whoever it is they'll soon go away." Amy muttered as she reached out to drag Sheldon's mouth back down to hers. Sheldon found himself unable to respond as his tongue was most definitely otherwise engaged. The knocking continued and Sheldon tore himself away from his tormentor and strode to the door, throwing it open to reveal a sea of familiar faces. Leonard, Howard, Bernadette and Penny were all standing crowding the entrance and gaped at the sight of a severely dishevelled Sheldon greeting them with his shirt buttons askew and the tail of his shirt hanging over his waistband. They peered behind him to see a dreamy eyed looking Amy standing in the middle of the living room floor with lips all swollen and looking quite dishevelled herself.

"Just checking what time you wanted collecting; it's close to ten – thought you might want to come back with us now." Leonard checked his watch and squinted up at his best friend, who did not look happy to see any of them at this present time.

"Leonard, I appreciate the offer; but I no longer require any further assistance this evening. G'night, y'all." With that decisive statement, a strange mix of standard Sheldon with a hint of twang he shut the door; locking it firmly behind him. 


	5. EPILOGUE

**AN: This is for everyone that wanted a little more of Sheldon's inner Texan!**

"I think I need a moment here…" Amy whispered, feeling a little faint at the thought of finally getting what she had longed for after so long. She flopped down onto the couch and waved a hand in front of her flushed face. "What's with the rest of the bags?" Amy said, trying to wrestle a little control back. Sheldon was pacing the floor in an attempt to stop himself from just flinging her over his shoulder and breathed in and out slowly as he attempted to tuck the tails of his shirt back into his jeans.

"Well Meemaw said that as you'd never been to Texas you may prefer a California man." Sheldon bent down to rummage in one of the bags and Amy hooted again as she saw the black denims stretch tightly across his firm buttocks. Sheldon grinned as he pulled something out of the bag and hid it from view. "Close your eyes a sec."

"Okay." Amy closed her eyes and resisted peeking even when she heard the distinct sound of the rustling of material. Sheldon made a few changes to his appearance and then told her to open. "Oh my!" Amy gasped when she saw what he'd done, Sheldon had taken off his Stetson and removed his string tie; he'd opened the top few snaps on his shirt and wrapped a black silk cloth over his head; finishing off the look with a black velvet mask over his eyes.

"Don Diego de la Vega at your service, senorita. You may have heard me tales of me referring to my other name…" Sheldon bowed low over her hand and pressed a lush kiss against the back of it.

"Zorro…" Amy whispered and Sheldon straightened back up, winking down at her.

"I know it's not completely authentic; I should be wearing a billowing black shirt and pants but…"

"You look great…" Amy said as her fingers crept up to trace the soft velvet of the mask. "What is it with women that fall for men in disguises? Lois Lane with Superman, Pepper Potts with Iron Man and then Victoria Escalante with Zorro…As for me, I'd much rather have the man behind the mask any day of the week."

"Thank Goodness! That velvet was beginning to make me sneeze!" Sheldon ripped of the mask and sat down on the couch, tugging Amy to his side and pressing a gentle kiss to her upturned mouth, keeping it soft and sweet just like their date night kisses. "Should I show you what else I brought today?"

"There's more?" Amy pulled back a little and raised her eyebrows, Sheldon nodded and pulled a large paper bag over to the couch.

"This one I kept as my emergency reserve…" Sheldon opened the top of the bag and flashed Amy it's contents. "You always said that you liked me in this."

"I did…I do…" Amy gently ran her fingers over the soft texture of the tuxedo jacket and then closed the bag up again, turning to Sheldon with a soft smile. "I love that you dressed up for me and you do look fantastic in your boots and jeans…but I think I love you best of all when you are completely you. Your superhero t-shirt over your thermal long sleeve shirt, carefully combed back hair and your cargo pants; that's the man I fell in love with and whenever I picture us together…that's the man I see."

"So you don't like all of this?" Sheldon's hand waved down his crisp white shirt and black jeans, and Amy leant over to trail over the buttons that were still fastened.

"I think that you should never ever wear this outfit outside of the bedroom…." She whispered huskily against his ear as her fingers tried to slide the buttons through the holes. Sheldon smirked a little as she started to grumble lightly when the buttons wouldn't co-operate.

"Let me help you out with that…" He wrenched the shirt wide open, revealing the smattering of hair on his chest that narrowed to a thin trail that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans. "Snaps…not buttons."

"No undershirt…veerrry nice." Amy crooned as her fingers ran over his exposed chest, lightly dragging through his dark chest hair and feeling it crinkle under her touch.

"We never did get around to that California hello…" Sheldon murmured, bringing her face up so that he could gaze into her sparkling eyes. Amy grinned up at him and dropped one eye slowly into a wink.

"I suppose I could give you the full experience rather than just the highlights. You'd have to imagine that I was dressed in a teeny tiny bikini to get the proper idea…"

"What if you showed me with your underwear? I have a very vivid imagination, I could fill in the blanks…" Sheldon said huskily, his hands doing a little exploring of their own as he started flicking open the buttons of her blouse one by one, groaning aloud when he saw yet another layer beneath. "Dang it, woman, you wear far too many clothes!"

"Let me give you a hand with that, Tex." Amy pushed his hands aside and simply lifted her blouse and undershirt over her head; scrambling off the couch to divest herself of her sheer tights and skirt as well. Walking over to the doorway leading to the bedroom, Amy slid her hair grips out of her hair, tossing it lightly over her shoulder and turned her back to fiddle with her bra. Sheldon's mouth ran dry as he saw her silken skin almost completely exposed to his avid gaze.

"I saw a couple of teenage girls do this down at the beach once when they were looking at the new lifeguard on beach patrol…" Amy finished adjusting herself and threw Sheldon a look over her shoulder, keeping her front turned to the door. "Ready?" Sheldon swallowed hard, his fingers curling around to bite into his palms. Amy slowly turned around and Sheldon nearly swallowed his tongue as he saw that she had pulled her bra cups down slightly so that her ample breasts were pushed close together and threatening to spill out over the top of the cups. Amy placed her hand on her hip as she thrust one leg forward slightly, her gaze running down his body and lingering on where his groin pushed forward.

"Heeellloooo…." She cooed the word out slowly and Sheldon felt his pulse start to race. He pushed up from the couch and in one stride had crossed the living room to crush her to him, bending her over his arm and devouring her mouth. His arms reached down to slide under her knees and in one swift move he brought her up into his arms and carried her through to the bedroom.

"Did I ever tell you that Howard showed me a few magic tricks once?" Sheldon murmured as he set Amy gently down in the middle of her bed and leant back slightly. Amy shook her head as her hands pulled his shirt off his shoulders. Sheldon tugged it free of his pants and together they flung it over his back to lie crumpled and forgotten on the floor. Sheldon gave a wave of his hand and opened his fingers to reveal a strip of condoms.

"Six?"

"Well, darlin…you know how much I strive for perfection." Sheldon smirked down at her as he tucked the condoms under the pillow. Amy's fingers tangled with his own as they reached for the button on his jeans and Amy glanced up with a smug smile.

"And not forgetting the fact that you love to repeat things in multiples of three…"

"Maybe I should have bought the whole box in then." Sheldon grinned as his fingers made light work of the button and zipper, sliding the denims over his lean hips and kicking them off as they tangled around his feet. He crawled back up on the bed and brought Amy over to lie on his chest, "We don't have to do this right now, we could just stay like this for a while."

"Are you kidding me? Now I have you practically naked in my bed, you really think I'm gonna let you out until we've put some of those condoms to good use?" Amy practically screeched at Sheldon and he flipped them over until he was lying within the v of her legs.

"Just checking…does this feel like I want to let you go anytime soon?" He rocked his hips forward and pressed his hardness against the fiery warmth emanating from her womanly core.

"I wish I had learnt to ride a horse when my mother wanted me too." Amy said suddenly, and when Sheldon looked down with a frown, she blushed slightly. "I've heard that women that ride astride don't really feel any pain when engaging for the first time."

"Darlin', I'm gonna take things real gentle with you…and when I'm through it won't be horses that you'll be wantin' to ride!" Sheldon pressed a string of hot, moist kisses all along Amy's collar bone as his mouth drifted lower until he was nudging her bra cups out of the way so that he could get to her breasts. "Soft and sweet, just like I had imagined." Sheldon nuzzled his cheeks over her chest as his fingers nimbly undid the clasp holding the two sides together; her breasts spilled out and Sheldon buried his face in between the soft mounds, bringing his hands up to massage them as his tongue learnt the different textures.

"Sheldon!" Amy gasped out, wrapping her fingers in his hair as she felt him drawing her nipple into the warm cavern of his mouth and starting to suckle strongly. Her hips started to rock upwards and one of Sheldon's hands left off its erotic massage to move lower down her body, pressing lightly on her thigh to get her to separate her legs a little further. His hips pushed forward widening the gap further and her nipple popped free of his mouth as he threw his head back to let out a low moan.

"Dear Lord, that feels good!" Amy tightened her grip in his hair as she tried to get his mouth back to work and Sheldon was all too happy to oblige. Amy pressed his head against her chest and he immediately started suckling at her neglected breast while his hands occupied themselves with removing the rest of their unwanted clothing. Their legs tangled together as they shucked off their briefs and both groaned loudly when they were finally skin on skin. Sheldon felt Amy's heat scorching the top of his thigh and she started rubbing herself up against his lean muscles, leaving a trail of moisture behind. Sheldon's mouth left Amy's breast as his head started moving lower, dropping tiny little kisses behind on his way to his intended destination.

"Sheldon what are you?" Amy tried to nudge his head away but Sheldon just looked up with a determined expression behind his heated gaze and his hands pressed firmly against her thighs, baring her entirely to his sight.

"You once said that you wanted me to kiss you where you had never been kissed before, and never let it be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper breaks a promise to his lady!"

"But, Sheldon…that's something that even most experienced couples don't do until much later in their relationship….Oh God!" Amy started to argue that perhaps neither of them were ready for that particular aspect when she felt one of Sheldon's fingers slip in between her folds and start up a gentle massage.

"Yeah, darlin? What was that?" Sheldon barely looked up from where he was watching his finger disappear into her soft curls, he could feel her warmth surrounding him and he withdrew it slightly before sliding it in a little further. He was fascinated by the changes that came upon her body with just that slight movement, he watched as her folds started to swell and glisten with moisture as they took on a rosy appearance. He added a second finger to the first and felt her walls ripple around them as they seemed to suck him deeper. "You're so warm." He murmured with delight and when he slid his fingers free the next time, he bent his head to lick gently at her delicate skin. "Oh God…" He murmured against her, trying to get as close as possible. "I don't think I've ever tasted something so good." He ran his tongue over her again, gently sliding just the tip of his tongue along her fold to lap at the moisture collected there. "Just a little more and then I'll stop…" He breathed her scent deep into his lungs as he buried his face between her legs, nuzzling deeply at her damp curls. His tongue flicked out and as Amy jerked her hips forward it slipped between her folds, further than he was planning. Once her full taste hit his taste buds, Sheldon started licking in earnest; sliding his tongue back and forth gathering up as much as her moisture as he could. His hands pressed her legs further apart and the movement revealed the hidden bud at the centre of her desire and Sheldon's tongue curled around it as he drew it into his mouth to lightly suckle on it. Amy screamed as she was suddenly overwhelmed by the sensation and Sheldon tasted her desire flooding his mouth as he gulped it down eagerly. He pulled his mouth reluctantly away, giving her one last lusty lick to clear away the last traces of her climax and sat back on his heels. Amy gave him a very satisfied smile and ran her hands over his hair dusted thighs, coming very close to where his erection was bobbing up with excitement.

"Condom?" She suggested quietly and he nodded; his hands stretching up to grope under the pillow for a condom, and he nearly tore the thing in half as he pulled it free of the wrapper and rolled it over his firm length.

"Are you ready?" Sheldon asked huskily, taking himself in hand and lining up with her slick entrance.

"Baby, I've been ready since the day I met you." Amy relaxed against the sheets and gave him a nod. Sheldon nudged at her opening and pushed forward a little so that just the tip of him was enclosed by her warmth. He leant forward to take her mouth in a soft kiss, clasping their hands together above Amy's head.

"I love you." Sheldon said softly, as he raised his head and Amy smiled softly back.

"I love you, too." As she replied, Sheldon moved forward sliding further into her and making them one for all of time.


End file.
